Tuesday, September 13, 2011

'titRex throws it to UpRex

(as my own homage and urging for people to support 'titRex in their David and Goliath fight with Uptown Rex)

New Orleans 2011- The self-appointed Little Minister of Information for 'titRex appeared before a small group of reporters at Little Tokyo:
"We, the appropriately-scaled krewe of 'titRex, appeal to the grand and lumbering Uptown Rex to release us from your golden claws of legalese.
We had no idea that there was another krewe with the same devotion to Rex Reed! Of course, we should have considered that our favorite son would engender such devotion after all. Our deep (yet small and carefully made) apologies for overlooking your krewe history.

As for changing our name, we instead invite Uptown Rex to a "float off" where we will both attempt to navigate our signature floats through the traditional pre-1970s downtown route to see who- (speaks to an aide: what do you mean they can't? Oh. I see)
(clears his throat)
Well. Instead, we invite our uptown friends to join us in a meeting of our krewes (another interruption. he confers with aides. They won't? why not? Who is Comus? Are you kidding?)
(LM considers for a long moment, then:)
To our supporters and to Uptown Rex we ask that we both find a way to live in this glorious city, and yet to each respect our differences. To show our commitment to sharing the Mardi Gras season, we, 'titRex(Reed) promise:

Not to ask anyone that has a net worth over 200,000 to serve as royalty.
Not to ask any debutante of the current season to serve as Queen or in the court. Especially if she is currently majoring in communications or marketing at any Southern university.
To restrict our floats to less than 100 feet in length and use less than a small city's allotment in fuel during the parade.
To not use our krewe time to make large behind-the-scenes business deals that change the course of the city.
To drink only well brands of liquor during parade.
Use only handmade and amusing throws.
Maintain our raucous, human-powered activity but only for the enjoyment of our paradegoers and NOT for our krewe members who live along our route.
Never to impede the control of the city by the krewe members of UpRex.

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